The mystery of the Golden Talon

By Kenny Kiratli

Kenny Kiratli ('17) attends Northwestern University.

Posted: November 13, 2015

Today, the second issue of The Talon was distributed. To accompany distribution, Talon staff members chose a single newspaper, rolled it up and tied it with golden ribbon. Staff members Forrest Ahrens, Lucas DiBlasi and Kenny Kiratli decided to hide the newspaper somewhere in the school to create a scavenger hunt-like competition. 

The three chose to conceal the Golden Talon in the library, filed away in the “Ta” directive of fiction books. Nothing was said of the competition until seventh hour (beginning at 1:31 p.m.), when publicity intern and Talon staff member Meena Morar introduced the competition and announced that the first student to find the Golden Talon would receive a $5 Starbucks giftcard. Morar instructed that, to receive the prize, the student who was first to discover the hidden newspaper should immediately tweet a picture to @redhawksonline.

At 1:48 p.m., only 15 minutes after the announcement was made, senior Jack Bexell tweeted a picture of himself and junior Jonah Rausch claiming victory in the library, between the bookshelves, holding the Golden Talon.  

@RedhawksOnline Found it #yep #yeswecan #kony2012 @Goprobro

However, less than 40 minutes after Bexell’s tweet, junior Jake Lundquist stumbled across another Golden Talon sticking out from a library bookshelf. He had not yet seen Bexell’s tweet, so he tweeted victory:

I found the redhawk talon @RedhawksOnline in your face @KennyKiratli25 !”

Lundquist’s tweet pictured him holding the Golden Talon with Kiratli, who initially hid the newspaper, in the background.

After class, Lundquist descended to the campus room victoriously, flaunting his recent find. Before he made it there, however, he ran into Soren Birkeland, who was also holding a Golden Talon.

“I found the RedHawks talon @RedhawksOnline in your face @katerina_misa,” Birkeland tweeted, with a picture in the library of himself and Talon staff member Katerina Misa.

Birkeland and Lundquist argued about who found the true Golden Talon, but consensus could not be found. The altercation became violent when Lundquist slapped Birkeland’s Golden Talon, took it for himself and ran to the campus room. Birkeland followed Lundquist and stopped him near the vending machines, where the back and forth continued.

Birkeland was able to identify the exact spot that the Golden Talon should have been located: in the “Ta” directive of fiction. Lundquist, who found his Golden Talon laying on a shelf near the directive, was not.

A crowd began to form around the controversial duo, who only became louder with the gathering of students. After minutes of futile argument, Birkeland, exhausted, admitted to having a fake copy. He said that Talon staff member Katerina Misa created the fake for him and told the exact hiding space to him.

The controversy and unease called for a meeting of Talon staff members, who congregated and made two main rulings on the situation:

CHAMPION

Jack Bexell is the victor of the competition. It is thought that he and Rausch found the Golden Talon, took a picture with it, tweeted their finding and set the paper back in the vicinity of the “Ta” directive, which is where Lundquist found it. Birkeland’s case was not given much consideration in the decision making. Bexell will receive the $5 Starbucks giftcard next week.

SUSPENSION

Kenny Kiratli, because of his involvement with Lundquist’s find and possible divulging of secret information, has been suspended from the Talon staff without pay effective immediately.

Katerina Misa, because of her forging of the Golden Talon and assisting Birkeland in an illicit claim to victory, has been suspended from the Talon staff without pay effective immediately.

The two staff members have yet to speak about the situation and are expected to appeal their suspensions.

Suspensions? No, not really.

Jack Bexell champion? Yes, really.

Enjoy the Talon.

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